Within the Mansion
by Hedgehog of Time
Summary: A series of one-shots detailing the life and times of the Smashers of the Super Smash Brothers Tournament. Romance, friendship, drama, and Hilarity abound!
1. A Matter of Interest

Summary: Ganondorf finds himself fascinated by the newest female Smasher. And she seems to not be repulsed by him. How... interesting.

Pairings: Ganondorf/Bayonetta. Ganondorf and Bowser friendship.

* * *

She… interested him. Yes that was the word. She was interesting. Few could claim to be such in Ganondorf's eyes, but she was. There were, of course, her obvious physical assets, but that held little interest for the King of Demons. He had lived long enough to know that the fairest of beings can be the darkest, while the most physical repulsive can be the most wonderful. He cared nothing for physical beauty, though it didn't hurt her case.

She claimed to be a witch, but she was very different from the witches of his world. Most witches from his world consorted with dark forces, and that took a terrible toll on their bodies, withering them and rotting them before the grave. Ganondorf himself would have succumbed to such a thing had it not been for the healing power of the Triforce. In addition her fighting style is bizarre, using her very clothing as a weapon in addition to her guns. She is not a hard hitter, but she is fast and relentless, two things he can greatly admire.

Their first interaction is as strange as she is. She, Bayonetta, had just finished her introductory fight against Captain Falcon, someone Ganondorf could not stand in the least. He was quite pleased when she soundly defeated him by a staggering four K.O's.

As he was leaving the viewing room, he had no interest in Cloud's debut fight against Ike, (yet another blonde-haired and blue eyed goody-two shoes. Was all of Link's extended family invited or something?) she sidled up to him. "Ah, hello there. Leaving so soon?" she asked in a husky voice he supposed was intended to be seductive, but he was above such things.

"Aye." He says simply. His voice is a bit hoarse and rough from disuse.

"Ooh, the tough guy act. I simply adore that one." She says, smirking at him over her glasses. "You don't have a very flattering reputation around here Ganondorf of the Gerudo."

"Am I supposed to care for the opinions of a circus menagerie?" he asks, slightly sarcastic. To be honest he is surprised that he is still talking to her. He considered very few worthy of speaking to, and he knew nothing about this so-called witch.

She releases a giggle belonging more to a schoolgirl than a witch, in his opinion at least. "Oh I couldn't have said it better myself warlock. This place certainly does have an abundance of sideshow freaks." She smirked. "I suppose you care for them about as little as they care for you." It's a statement, not a question, and he takes it in stride. Mainly because it's true.

"Aye." He says once again.

She smirks at him, and it's downright predatory. "We seem to think alike, warlock. Maybe we should… get to know each other." She suggests, sidling up close to him. His only response is a raised eyebrow. He still finds it strange, a woman being so bold. True the Gerudo women were bold, but he had thought them the exception to the rule, till he had come here and met the likes of Samus Aran.

Abruptly, she pulls away and flips her hair. "But, it will have to wait. Ta-ta!" she says, and struts away, waving her hips sensually. She leaves, and Ganondorf finds himself confused and a bit aroused by the witch despite himself. After a moment, it dawns on him. She was inviting him to a game, a game of wits and information. A Game of Shadows. She was challenging him, and she was not intending to play fair.

He chuckles to himself, a deep and rumbling sound. "Well, well. Two can play at this game, witch." He said, a devilish smile on his lips. He wasn't the King of Demons and the Bearer of Power for nothing, after all.

* * *

"Hey there ugly." Said Bowser, lumbering up to join Ganondorf at the bar. Bowser was the only one in Smash Mansion that Ganondorf could honestly call friend. They were villains alike, bad to the bone, and they had bonded over that simple fact. The main difference between them was that No one really took Bowser seriously. They were afraid to death of Ganondorf.

"Bowser." He says simply, and takes another sip of his wine.

"Heard ya been taking an interest in the new chick, Bayonetta." He said, plopping down beside Ganondorf and ordering a beer to the Mii manning the bar. "All I can say is, good eye buddy. That is one piece of ass I would nail in an instant." He says with a laugh.

Ganondorf gives a small smile at Bowser's crassness. Bowser is a simple being, and he could never truly explain the intricacies of the game he now played with Bayonetta. Bowser was a creature of brute force, Ganondorf was a chess player if anything. He carefully assessed things, analyzed them, and never made a move until he was certain it would benefit him.

Of the game, it was slow going. The people of the Mansion knew very little about the newcomer, and what they did know came from the witch herself. Most of it was probably lies to throw him off the trail of who she was. Ganondorf had been consulting many of his underworld contacts, discerning information about this, Bayonetta. That didn't matter to him though, he relished the challenge.

From what he had found, Bayonetta was a fearsome and powerful sorceress. A sassy mouth and a sadistic streak. Just the kind of woman he could get behind.

Bowser's beer came in a great stein almost as big as Villager. The dragon-turtle took a long drink of it before speaking again. "So what's up with her? Ya planning on getting a date? Didn't think of you as the type to, you know, have social interactions with people." Said Bowser with a large and toothy grin.

Ganondorf smirks. He is feeling loosened by the wine, the enjoyable feeling of not quite being drunk and not quite being sober. "I am not sure, old friend. That is one of the enjoyments of the game she and I now play. Neither of us know the endgame." He said, a familiar expectant grin coming over him. He is enjoying himself immensely. The witch has made his life much more interesting.

Bowser groans. "Oh Gods, more of that intrigue crap. I don't have the stomach for it." He hops off the bar stool. "Come on. That new kid Little Mac has been talking trash about us old timers. I've been meaning to show him what happens when you talk down about the two most badass mothers this side of Nintendo." Said Bowser with his confident grin. "How about you and I teach the punk some manners?" suggested the Koopa King.

Ganondorf smirks and downs the last of his wine. "Very well." He says, setting down his glass. He's about to stand to join Bowser who is lumbering off to challenge Little Mac when a familiar dainty hand takes his glass. He looks up in honest to Din surprise to see the witch winking at him. She disguised herself, somehow, as the Mii working the bar.

In a flash she's gone, but not without blowing him a kiss. She had heard everything. He looks down to see that she'd left a note. It read _'Wouldn't mind a date big man.'_ He smiles to himself. Oh she is good.

* * *

It's the last match of the tourney, and Ganondorf had done what he did best. He had absolutely decimated his competition, one by one, using his raw power and strength. He relished it. The feeling of bloodlust, the surge of excitement, and the thrill of battle. Intrigue was one thing, but he loved the raw release of power through his veins.

He was pleased to find that his final opponent was the witch with whom he had been dueling wits the past few months. He had learned much about her, and she about him no doubt. He had enjoyed it, this dance, but now it was time to measure their strength of arms. For here, in the arena, there was nothing. No intrigue, no plays, no dancing. Just the raw release of power, and the pounding of blood through ones ears.

He walks into the arena in his full glory. His armor is shined, his cape billows in the wind, and his power burns around him in a red and purple aura. He has let his hair loose for this battle, and his flaming orange mane burns like fire. He inspires fear, and he loves it.

She is not intimidated. Bayonetta front-flips into the arena, landing effortlessly on the ground, a saucy grin on her face. "Well, well. Look who's here. Aren't you going to go easy on little old me?" she asks in a playful tone.

Ganondorf lets out a hearty laugh at that one. "You? Never." He proclaims, the thrill of battle making him more than a little crazy.

"Hmm, good." I was worried you were like the other idiot men here. But you're an interesting one, King of Demons." She says, her hands on her hips. "I like interesting." She says, drawing her pistols.

"As do I. And you are most fascinating, Umbra Witch." He smirks.

"Oh, perhaps we should discuss this later tonight? Loser buys drinks Ganondorf?" she asked, dropping into her battle stance.

Ganondorf gives another wild smile and flares his power around him. "Aye, Bayonetta." He says as the match begins.


	2. Reading Horrors

Summary: Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. In Ike's case though, it safe to say that curiosity has scared him for life.

Pairings: Ike, Robin, Link, and Marth friendship. No romance this time. Sorry.

* * *

The fact that Robin was sometimes a guy was a source of endless dirty jokes and amusement for the less mature Smashers. The children in particular got a kick out of Robin's dual gender, they were kids so they got a pass. But some of the less mature adults could be cruel in their mocking of Robin's condition. This stopped rather quickly when Robin electrocuted Wario so hard that his mustache caught fire. And that was before Ike and Marth went double on him in Final Destination. When asked why the violent display, both merely commented that "Fire Emblem has to look after their own."

For Ike, he liked Robin, both the male and female versions. It was nice having a guy who thought like a girl around, advice for getting dates, and a girl who thought like a guy, someone to bro out with. So needless to say the two got along splendidly.

There was, however, one thing about Robin that drove Ike nuts with curiosity. That book Robin always carried around with him/her. Most just assumed it was a spell tome, but Ike was observant. He had seen, on multiple occasions Robin giggle in a not so innocent way when reading it every now and then. Plus, Ike had seen words and dialogue when Robin tipped the book during fights. It was all quite strange and it got Ike riled up.

You couldn't really blame Ike for being curious, he was a mercenary and mercenaries had to be curious or you wound up dead in a ditch. Ike didn't like unanswered questions. And this one was all the more obsessing because it involved a friend. Robin mocked him with it, and he was nearing the end of his string.

So one day, when Ike was looking for his gender swapping friend for a duel, he found Robin's room empty. And, lo and behold, the infamous book was there on the dresser. Ike glared at the offending tome. He knew it was wrong to look at a friend's stuff without permission, but damn it all he wanted to know!

"Screw it." He said to himself. "One look won't hurt." He assured himself. Robin didn't need to know, and it would just be a quick look. No harm no foul.

Slowly, as though it might explode (and knowing Robin it just might), Ike picked up the book. "What the?" he said to himself, finding the first page he opened to being the usual spell page that Robin showed everyone. To Ike's surprise, they were duct taped in.

Ike leafed past the spells and found what he was looking for after a few moments.

"…AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!"

The scream was heard all across the mansion, striking horror and terror into all who heard it.

Across the Mansion, Marth and Link heard the scream. "I know that girlish scream." Said Marth, terror creeping into his voice. "Link! That was Ike! We need to help him!"

"Right." Said Link, and the two took off towards the direction of Ike's wail. After some searching they found the hulking swordsman on the floor of Robin's room.

"Ike!" cried Marth, running over to his friend. "For the love of all the Gods man, including that one female God that you killed, say something man!" Ike merely groaned in response. "Ike, speak to me!" pleaded Marth. "What happened to you?"

"Book…" groaned Ike, sounding as though in physical agony.

"Book? What book? Speak sense man! What did the book do to you?" asked Link, leaning over Ike.

"...Fifty Shades of Gray… doujinshi."

Meanwhile, far away in another part of the mansion, Robin in his/her female form sneezed and looked around. She was certain that someone, somewhere, was talking about her. After a moment she shrugged and went back to writing her newest masterpiece. She had been studying a recent piece of crap turned hit for a while now and she was confident in his/her research.

After all, if one fanfiction author had turned their smut into millions of dollars then why couldn't she?


	3. Grudge Match

Summary: Cloud has come to the Super Smash Bros to settle old scores, and Link is happy to oblige. Some people seem to be taking it the wrong way though.

Pairings: Link/Samus romance. Link and Lucario friendship. Cloud/Tifa romance. Link and Mario friendship. Roy and Pit Friendship. Cloud and Link friendship/rivalry.

* * *

Link was shopping when he heard the news. He was in the Smashopolis mall, Wall*Smash, looking for something great to get his girlfriend, Samus Aran, for the upcoming Valentine's Day. For lack of a better idea, he had dragged Lucario along since the Pokémon had a good reading on Samus's aura and could help him find something good.

"So what do you think Lucario? Chocolates or flowers? Both?" asked Link of the dog-like fist fighting Smasher who was glumly following Link around with a bored expression.

Lucario sighed. "Neither, Link. Samus isn't into the girly things. You know that." Said Lucario. Link gave a look like a dejected puppy and put the items back. "Link, why am I even here? You're Samus's boyfriend, and you've known her since the NES days. Why are you having me pick something out? You know her better than I do." Commented Lucario.

Link looked down as though embarrassed. "Well, it's just, I don't want to get this wrong, you know. I mean, I really like Samus." He said. "I don't… I don't want to do something stupid and screw everything up… like I usually do." He said, a bit dejectedly.

Lucario sighed and put his furry arm around his friend's shoulder. "Look, Link. I may be a large dog-man with psychic powers and mad Kung Fu skills, but I do know a thing or two about people. I know them through their auras. You and Samus, damn. It's like the room explodes into fireworks whenever you're together." It was the truth. Their auras did react rather spectacularly whenever they were together. It was beautiful. The only thing he could compare it to was the reaction between Link and Ganondorf's auras. Granted that was more than likely was from pure hatred. He really hoped it wasn't love.

But, back to comforting the insecure hylian.

"Link, Samus isn't going to leave you if you muck up one Valentine's Day present. I don't even think she knows about the holiday, what with her being from the future and all." Said Lucario. "So stop worrying and get her what you think is best." Said the Pokémon. _"And let me go home and get some rest. You got me up at six in the morning."_ Thought Lucario to himself.

Link gave a small sigh of relief. "You… you really think so?" asked Link with an unsure smile. Lucario sometimes forgot how young Link was. He was barely over seventeen, still just a kid really. Of course he was nervous about this stuff. Lucario gave him a reassuring nod and a pat on the shoulder, careful to avoid impaling him with his palm-spike. Boy had he learned to be careful about THAT the hard way.

"Well-a of course Link!" came a familiar voice from behind them. "But-a if I were-a you, I would-a be getting-a ready."

Link and Lucario turned to see none other than Mario himself standing in the aisle, pushing a basket loaded down with candy boxes and pastries. "Hey Mario!" said Link brightly with Lucario raising a hand in greeting. "What's with all the sweets?" he asked, but then his brow furrowed. "What do you mean, get ready?"

"Well, Peach and-a I were-a going to-a be giving out-a Valentines to-a everyone so the dateless-a losers will-a not feel bad." Said Mario brightly. Of course Mario and Peach would come up with something like this. The two of them were the unofficial mom and dad of the incredibly weird and screwed up little Smash Mansion family. "And-a as for-a getting ready, well-a, the-a DLC characters are-a coming soon, in-a two days in fact." There was a mischevious twinkle in Mario's eyes that Link immediately distrusted.

"Yeah I got the memo. What, is another one of my enemies getting into the game? Its' bad enough that that pervert Ghirahim is an assist trophy." Said Link, shuddering at the horror of realizing that his newest enemy s in Smash. He hoped his restraining order was enough to keep Ghirahim away. Probably not though. Freaking pedo-bear wannabe.

Mario shook his head. "Oh no, not at-a all. But one of them-a is… interested in you." Said Mario with a grin. "Remember-a… Death Battle?" asked Mario.

To Lucario it meant nothing, but it obviously hit Link like a cannonball. He gaped like a landed fish at Mario. "You mean he's… he's coming to Smash?" asked Link, a note of disbelief in his tone. Was that a note of anticipation in his voice as well? Lucario thought so.

Mario gave a slow nod. "Oh-a yes. And he was-a quite insistent that-a he get a rematch-a." said the Italian plumber with a great big smirk on his mustached face.

"I'm sorry, but I'm completely lost." Said Lucario. How had they gone from discussing Link and Samus's relationship to this again? "Who's coming to Smash, and why do they have a bone to pick with Link?" asked Lucario.

An anticipatory grin came over Link, a look of savage glee that looked eerily like Ganondorf's. "Cloud Strife. It's time for round two."

* * *

"I've got to admit Cloud, this is a pretty sweet set-up Nintendo's got going on here." Said Tifa Lockhart as she lounged on the bed the Smash Mansion had provided for Cloud. "A queen-sized too, plenty of room for… movement." She said with a saucy wink to her boyfriend who was currently shedding his daytime clothes leaving him in only a pair of sweats and giving Tifa a wondrous look at his torso.

Cloud snorted and lay down next to her. "Or sleeping, I'm dog-tired." He said with a light smile. "But, if you were to insist I wouldn't say no." he said as Tifa snickered.

"Yeah, yeah Casanova. Rest up. You've got a grudge match tomorrow with the Legolas cosplayer." Said Tifa. Cloud's expression turned into a thoughtful one with just a tinge of amusement to it.

Cloud remembered the Death Battle between himself and the swordsman known as Link quite vividly. They had talked to each other a little before and after the match, and Cloud had found that he liked the Hero. Liking had turned to friendly but intense rivalry after the outcome of the battle, leaving Link the winner. Cloud had been floored. He hadn't been the only one. Practically all of AVALANCHE had expected Cloud with his SOLDIER training and abilities to decimate the slightly feminine looking warrior. But Link's arsenal and training had proved to be a match for Cloud's magic and brute force.

The two of them had shook hands and Cloud had vowed a rematch at some point. Master Hand must have heard of it, because he gave Cloud a place in the newest Tournament. Link had sent him a letter yesterday, accepting Cloud's challenge.

The fight against Link had been the most extreme battle in Cloud's memory since the fight against Sephiroth. The two heroes had battled with nothing held back and nothing stopping them against each other. Link was one of the few that Cloud could respect as a warrior, and now he was in a mansion filled with people with power like Link's.

"You ready for tomorrow Cloud?" asked Tifa. "Ready for the match up with your gay lover." She teased the spiky haired SOLDIER.

Cloud smirked. "First off, Link has a girlfriend, he's not gay. Secondly, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. We're fighting by the rules of Smash Bros now. The ground is even." He said, his jaw set determinedly. "This time, I'm coming out on top."

"Okay." Said Tifa, looking ready to burst into laughter. "I could make an innuendo out of that one, but that would just be too easy."

Cloud got up and stretched. "You know, on second thought I'm going to go get some last minute training in in the Target Course." He said. "Try not to be too loud when you're thinking of me in the shower tonight." He said, throwing on a T-shirt with the Super Smash Bros emblem on it. Tifa threw a pillow at him.

* * *

"Ready Link?" asked Samus from her lounging position on his bed as Link finished strapping on his gear for the upcoming duel that day. "It's gonna be full force today. I'd prefer it if my boyfriend didn't look like a complete bitch." She said in her usual even tone.

Link raised an eyebrow as he pulled on his fingerless gloves. "Yeah, I'm ready." He said, not even fazed anymore by Samus's foul language. It seemed to be common with people from a more futuristic setting to swear more casually. It used to bother him, but in the end it wasn't his business what language his girlfriend used. She didn't bother him about speaking in Shakespearean during battles, so he didn't bother her about her swearing. "And I'll be fine Samus. You know me." He said, cracking his neck.

"Yeah, I know that you're crap under pressure." She said, standing up. "And literally everyone's gonna be there. You're a good fighter, but I worry anyway. I hope you know I don't do that for everyone." She said with a slight smirk.

"Yeah, that's because you love me." He said with a playful grin.

"Keep that quiet would ya, I've got a reputation to maintain." She said, stifling a snort. "And best of luck out there today. And if the big bad bully hurts your feelings I'll beat the crap out of him for you." She said. Link didn't doubt that she could beat Cloud into the ground if she wanted to. He was pretty sure Samus could do anything if she put her mind to it. He wasn't sure how he'd managed to snag such an amazing woman, but he counted himself pretty lucky.

"Thanks Samus." He said. "Kiss for good luck?" he asked, a slight grin on his face that he knew Samus found adorable. Samus gave a martyred sigh and kissed Link.

"Play your cards right and you'll get a lot more than a kiss tonight." She said. Then she smirked. "Long as this Cloud guy doesn't steal you today. I don't have to worry about him stealing my boyfriend do I?" she said, enjoying the flustered look on Link's face.

"Wha- no- why- I-" he stuttered out before he saw the laughter Samus was holding back and realized he was being teased. "Ha, ha Samus." He said blushing fiercely. Somehow she was still able to get under his skin. "Gay jokes, very funny. A lot of people would call that offensive." He said, the tips of his ears turning red as Mario's cap.

She lightly smacked his shoulder. "I don't censor myself, more fun that way. Now go out there and win that grudge match. Show him why length is better than girth." Link very nearly resorted to banging his head against the wall as hard as he could.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the managing area where the item drops and the battle music for the battles originated two forms stealthily stole along the wall humming the Mission Impossible theme to themselves. These were, of course, the self-proclaimed Prank Masters of the Smash Mansion, Pit and Roy. Roy had been the Prank Master of Melee, giving the Smashers such memories as the "Noodle Incident" and the dreaded "Jock Strap Event". After Roy had been kicked out Pit had taken up the mantle in Brawl, continuing the legacy with such horrors as "The Night of the Hamster-Bees" and the legendary "Sharknado" which he had sold the rights to and had been made into a B-list movie.

Now the two were reunited in the latest gathering, and they were going to make it legen…wait for it…DARY!

"Ooh, this is going to be awesome!" said Pit, ready to get even with his self-proclaimed rival Link. "Link is going to regret stealing my moves." He snickered evilly.

"Yeah, and Viridi's attention I take it?" asked Roy in a dry voice. He loved his best buddy like a brother, but dear Gods he had poor taste in girls. First the crush on his boss and now the Nature Goddess who tried to kill him? The guy seriously needed to take some lessons in romance from the Roy-ster.

"I do not like Viridi!" asserted Pit angrily in his girlish voice. "Just because she's got pretty hair, and pretty eyes, and is smart, and funny, and…" he trailed off as he began fantasizing about the blonde Goddess. Roy took the opportunity to slap him a couple times to wake him from his pleasant day dream.

"Wake up stupid! We've got to take care of this before Master Hand gets here to manage the duel." Said the red-haired totally not a Marth clone aggressively.

"Right I'm sorry." He began before Roy slapped him again. Then again. Then a couple more times for good measure. "Stop hitting me already!" cried Pit. Slap, slap, slap. "I'm warning you. Nothing. "Good. Glad we could-" SLAP!

"Well, now that that is worked out, let's get this baby rolling!" proclaimed Roy, swapping out the track for the upcoming battle with the one he and Pit had made. And like that, prankster magic baby." He proclaimed with a broad smile and a heroic pose. And then Pit clobbered him with a crowbar leading to a cat fight between the two.

* * *

Final Destination. A stage unrivaled in its epicness and its badassery. Just a simple platform hurtling through space. A place for epic fights, settling scores, and showdowns between rivals. Today it was the sight of Cloud's introductory match, the Grudge Match as the Smashers were calling it. The showdown between Link and Cloud. Two heroes facing off. Two warriors of the sword. Death Battle take two. This was gonna be good.

Naturally, bowser had started up a betting pool for the match. The Smashers actually seemed to be evenly divided into thirds. One third believing that Link would win, one third believing that Cloud would be victorious, and the final third was betting that this was all so that two gay lovers could finally have their time together. Tifa and Samus had a mutual bonding experience over beating what could only be described as 'the living shit' out of the final third.

Link and Cloud entered the arena, one on either side of the stage of Final Destination. "Cloud." Greeted Link, drawing the Master Sword. "Link." Greeted Cloud, shouldering the Buster Sword. Link had dressed in his traditional green tunic for the occasion, the only change being his blue scarf from Hyrule Warriors wrapped around his neck. Cloud himself was in his Advent Children outfit as he felt it was more appropriate for the grudge match.

"Been a long time Link, hope you're ready for the mother of all beat downs." Said Cloud, cracking his neck.

"You sure you want to do this Cloud? We all remember how Death Battle went." Said Link. "You should have seen the look on your face when I parried your Omni-Slash." He said, smirking at the memory of Cloud's incredulous face as Link had defended against Cloud's greatest assault on his person. For once Navi was useful for something as she had filmed it all.

Cloud gave a half-scowl, half- smirk at Link's statement. "No doing that here, we fight by the rules of Smash now. You're rules. And it's going to be sweet beating you in your own game." Said Cloud, readying the Buster Sword as Link did the same with the Master Sword and Hylian Shield.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!" proclaimed Master Hand from his booth where he ran the matches. "Today we have the Grudge Match of the century! Link: the Hero of Hyrule versus Cloud: the Guardian of the Life Stream!" Cheers accompanied the announcement as the spectators, including the other Smashers, cheered. "And today I have selected very special battle music for this fight! HIT IT!" he cried, oblivious to a very bruised and battered Roy and Pit's giggles.

" **It's okay to be gay, lets rejoice and give thanks in a gay waaaaay!"** the music shocked everyone into silence for a moment. Before the inevitable giggling could start, the music was cut off and Master Hand had his breakdown. " _ **ROY! PIT! GET OVER HERE YOU WEASLEY TWIN WANNABES! I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU A VIOLENT LESSON IN PAIN!"**_

Roy and Pit knew that now would be a good time to panic, and started to run for it. " _ **CRAZY HAND!"**_ screamed Master Hand at his brother. **"** _ **RELEASE THE MIIS!"**_

As the Miis proceeded to beat some sense into Roy and Pit, the real music came on. (Through the Fire and Flames by Dragonforce).

Link and Cloud recovered from their embarrassment and went back into baddass mode. "We're never going to live this down are we?" asked Link, his ear tips turning red again.

"Probably not." Said Cloud with a shrug. "Might as well keep going though."

"THREE!" cried Master Hand beginning the countdown.

"Whatever happens, friends?" asked Link with a grin.

"TWO!"

"You bet. May the best man win." Said Cloud.

He agreed because he knew that they would be friends, good friends. Sure it was fun to try and decide who was better, who was stronger, etc. But in the end, it didn't matter. They were both heroes of great legend and myth. They laid down their lives for justice and freedom. They were great men both. And in the end, they would be friends no matter what.

"ONE! BEGIN!"

* * *

 **AN: Bit of a longer one this time. Hope you enjoy reading! I sure did enjoy writing it. LEt me know what you think in the reviews!**


	4. Grudge Match: In the Stands

Summary: During Link and Cloud's Grudge Match, their respective girlfriends talk in the stands. Betwixt war stories and laughter, a new friendship is born. Link and Cloud are doomed.

Pairings: Link/Samus romance. Cloud/Tifa romance. Link and Cloud friendship. Tifa and Samus friendship. General Smash Bros family feels.

* * *

"Ugh." Said Tifa Lockhart, wiping at her shirt. "Idiot blood, I can never get this stuff out. Got any tips?" she asked Samus Aran, the tall blonde-bombshell sitting next to her. The two of them had just finished beating some sense into the pranksters Roy and Pit, after the Miis had finished with them of course. The beat down the two had delivered had been so brutal that Master Hand decided to spare the two dorks further punishment. Angering the two ferocious women seemed to be a fitting punishment.

Samus shrugged, her Zero Suit was already spotless. "Never needed it, this thing's always been self-cleaning. I know how to deal with blood on armor, but not clothing." Said the bounty hunter and part time vigilante with a shrug. "Link probably knows some tips. But that's monster blood. Big difference between monsters and idiots."

Tifa nodded. "True. Monsters have a brain at least." She said with a snicker, Samus responding in kind. She gestured down at the arena. "Pointy ears is your boyfriend?" she asked as Cloud and Link began their long awaited duel.

Samus nodded. "Yeah. Kind of weird I know, but look where we are. This place is waving Crazy Town bye-bye in the rearview mirror." As though on cue Kirby acted on the urge to swallow Sonic, spit him out, and start dashing around at supersonic speeds.

Tifa snorted. "Hey at least you're brand of crazy is the fun type of crazy. We've got a bunch of genetically engineered monsters running around looking to murder everything in sight. Our crazy is the murderous type of crazy." Said Tifa. Sonic was now dashing after Kirby, screaming threats at the puffball. "Then again, maybe scary crazy is better. This is pretty creepy" She said in an amused tone.

There was a sudden shout of pain and a whoosh of power from Final Destination drawing both the girls' attention. Cloud had been knocked out of the arena, giving Link one point. "Well, looks like the elf got first blood." Said Tifa.

Samus sucked in air through her teeth, her eyes widening. "Shit. Do NOT let Link or Zelda catch you calling either of them that." She said quickly. "It is not a smart thing to do."

Tifa frowned. "What's wrong with it?" she asked. "I mean, it's just sort of a joke. Would have thought your boyfriend would have a thicker skin." Said Tifa with a raised eyebrow.

Samus shook her head. "No, no. In Hyrule the e-word is an incredibly derogatory and offensive term. A huge insult. Believe me, in the first tournament Link put Mario and a couple other in the hospital for calling his that." She said, shuddering at the memory. Link had proven to be downright sadistic when that word had been directed at him. Honestly it had been kind of arousing for Samus.

"Wow." Said Tifa, her eyes wide. "Damn I… I didn't know." She said quickly. But how the Hell had she been so supposed to know that the e-word for Hylians was the equivalent of calling a black person the n-word? She remembered when a particularly stupid patron called Barrett that. Barrett had shown the man how difficult it was to raise a child with only one arm.

Samus raised her hands. "Hey, I get it. No one knew until Link beat the crap out of Mario." She said. "But still, don't say it around us Smashers. We like Link, and no one insults one of us if they know what's good for them." Said Samus in a slightly threatening tone.

Tifa gave a thumbs up. "No worries." She assured. There was another scream from the arena and a roar of applause from the crowd. Link had been knocked out this time, and Cloud was preparing for his return by harvesting the inside of a party ball.

Samus nodded, and moved onto other things. No use dwelling on mistakes. "Your boyfriend seems to be pretty fixated on winning this fight. Hope for your sake that his sword isn't compensating for something." Said Samus with a shrug.

Grateful that they had moved on from her blunder, Tifa snickered. "And I'll tell you what I tell everyone else who makes that stupid joke. Cloud isn't compensating for anything with the Buster Sword. He's _representing_." She said with a wink at the blonde next to her. Samus nodded appreciatively.

"Wow, that's actually a really good comeback." Said Samus in a mildly impressed tone. "Mind if I share it, Ike and a couple others round here could use it." She said.

Tifa shrugged, "Feel free." They were silent for a moment, watching Link and Cloud slugging it out before she asked. "Mind if ask you something?" asked Tifa. Samus shrugged. "Shoot." Said the bounty hunter. Tifa cleared her throat. "How did you and Link get together? I mean no offense, but how the hell does a space bounty hunter and a knight from the middle ages end up dating?" she asked. It was honestly puzzling for the brawler. Link and Samus seemed like two completely different people. It didn't add up.

Samus mused for a second before answering. "Well, we first met in Super Smash One. When I first saw him I thought 'sissy boy'. You know, he looks kind of like the type. Sensitive looking, a bit feminine, all that jazz." Said Samus. Tifa could sympathize. She had thought the same of Cloud when they first met as kids.

Samus continued. "But then, you know, we got to talking. He was nice… friendly. He never thought less of me because I was a girl. Never said a woman couldn't be a hero and all that. He was understanding." She smiled at the memory, oblivious to Link and Cloud screaming obscenities at each other as they both tried to shove super spicy curry down the others throat. "We got to being good friends, partners. I even took him on a couple of jobs in space. It was great." She had a distant and happy look on her face.

"Sounds kind of like me and Cloud when we were kids. Except the missions were beating off rabbits from his mom's vegetable garden." Said Tifa with a smile. But then Samus's face turned cold.

"Then… he showed up." She said. "Ridley. That piece of trash who killed my parents." Said Samus, her voice turning the temperature of ice. She spoke the name of the Space Pirate like it was a foul curse. "He snuck up on Link, Link would have pulverized him in a fair fight. Bottom line, Link was going to die until I saved him." She said, then she looked down at the ground. Her eyes seemed a bit… damp. "I had never been so scared in my life. I'm not afraid to die, I accepted that I'm going to die when I was a kid. But… I was terrified that Link was going to die. He was the closest thing I had to family anymore, and Ridley was going to take that from me like he had my parents."

"Damn, hoped you killed the bastard." Said Tifa whole heartedly. Samus nodded grimly, a slightly savage look came over her, suggesting that Ridley's demise had been one of agony and pain. Tifa approved. She would have done the same to Sephiroth if given the chance.

"After that, things were different." Said Samus, her voice growing wistful. "We never officially got together or anything, it just sort of happened. And we… we're happy." She said with a smile. It was a real, soft smile. A crack through the cool façade. "I suppose that's what counts." She said with a smile.

Tifa blinked and said, after a moment, "Wow, not every day you actually get to liv e a Nicholas Sparks novel crossed with Star Wars." She said with a grin. Samus shot her a look. "But still, real cute." Said Tifa honestly.

Samus shrugged. "Yeah. Do me a favor and keep it under your hat. Link has enough trouble with people questioning his masculinity. While I can assure he has NO problems whatsoever in that department, I'm in no hurry to show that off the Side-Show freaks around here." Said Samus gesturing to the others. As though on cue, Mewtwo started to use his telekinesis on Bowser, forcing him to punch himself in the face.

Tifa shrugged. "I get it. Cloud and I are a bit sensitive when it comes to the past too." She sighed, thinking of their ill-fated adventures about the world seeking to stop both Shinra and Sephiroth. Then, for a reason, she couldn't comprehend, she started to talk. "Cloud had a girlfriend… well sort of a girlfriend. Her name was Aerith." She paused, seeing she had Samus's attention. She was hesitant to tell this story, but it felt right after Samus had told hers. "Aerith and I were friends, but we both loved Cloud. I didn't hold it against her, it's hard not to fall in love with him, but there was always that little grain of resentment."

She sighed, thinking of the wonderful Cetra girl who had become the soul of AVALANCHE. "And I did like her, and I knew that Cloud loved her. But then… when Sephiroth killed her… I could barely look at Cloud. I'd never seen someone look so… destroyed." She said, thinking of the ruinous work that Aerith's murder had done on her childhood friend.

"And this Sephiroth guy?" asked Samus quietly.

"Cloud killed him. Killing his was the only thing that kept him going." Said Tifa sadly. "Then Sephiroth came back and Cloud got back together with AVALANCHE. He was… he was lost. But we managed to save him, I'm still not sure how. Cloud and I ended up dating after a while." She looked up sadly, but it was a bittersweet sorrow, mixed with hope and a heavy joy. "It's… it's hard competing with a ghost sometimes. I don't think Cloud will ever stop loving Aerith but… we manage." She said wistfully.

Samus surprised both of them by putting a comforting hand on Tifa's shoulder. "I know the feeling." Said Samus. "Link and Zelda… they're connected on a level I'll never know." She said. "I know they're not together but still…" she trailed off. "Jeez I sound whiny." She snickered, trying to lighten the mood. "Link's rubbing off on me and not in the fun way." She said with a chuckle.

It succeeded in making Tifa laugh. There a sudden cry of "GAME!" from Master Hand and both women turned to the arena.

"Crap, we missed the whole thing." Said Tifa. "This the guys will be mad?" asked the brawler to her new friend.

Samus smirked. "If they know what's good for them they'll be nice about it." She said.

"Amen to that." Said Tifa.

Meanwhile, down in the arena, Cloud and Link felt a chill up their spines. They almost missed Master Hand calling, "SUDDEN DEATH!" and bomb-bombs rained down on them in time to the cackling of their loved ones in the stands.

* * *

 **AN: High there my duckies! A bit of a change of pace with this one. I know it got kind of emotional, but the next one will be much funnier! Please don't hate me.**


	5. The Trinity Remembers

Summary: When night falls, and everyone is sleeping, three old friends get together and remember the good old days.

Pairings: Mario, Sonic, and Megaman friendship.

Mario was not only one of the oldest video game icons in the world, he was also the unofficial god-father of the Smash Bros. When people had problems they came to him for help, and he would do his best to solve them. He was friendly, likeable, relatable, and an all-around nice guy. He didn't begrudge the Smashers their issues, but he did like some alone time.

Well alone time wasn't really what he was after. More than that, it was time with his two oldest friends, Megaman and Sonic. The so-called "Gaming Trinity" had been sitting back and enjoying some scotch for Mario and Sonic with gasoline for Megaman on the roof of the Smash Mansion and reminiscing about old times. "I tell you Mario old buddy, you have not lived until you've tried that good old Scottish ale." Said Sonic, slightly drunk from the scotch.

"Oh yeah my old-a friend." Laughed the plumber, pouring some more unleaded for Megaman. "Though I think-a Peach would-a kill me if I-a went on another-a pub crawl after the-a last one." Snickered Mario, remembering the last time he, Sonic and Megaman had gone on pub crawl together. The military, Interpol, Guinness world records, and Ripley's Believe it Or Not had all been on the scene of that fiasco.

"Yeah, but look me in the eye and tell me that it wasn't worth it." Said Megaman, taking another sip of his gasoline. "I feel sorry for all those dolphins though. I had no idea your bladder could retain so much urine." Said Megaman. "Or that it was flammable."

"Well that's what-a happens when you-a mix fire-a flowers and-a whiskey." Said Mario, as he remembered the particularly awesome memory in the back alley behind one of the Dublin pubs. And then again in an aquarium. He had literally pissed fire. It was incredible. For all Mario knew it was still on Facebook, along with a string of hate-mail from PETA. Hey, it was an accident! And the dolphins had been fine.

"So-a, Sonic." Said Mario during a lull in the conversation. "I-a hear you're-a getting a live action movie soon." Said Mario with a grin. "It's-a big news am I-a right?" asked the plumber rhetorically.

Sonic grimaced "Yeah man… big news." He said quietly. Mario internally winced. He shouldn't have done that. The plumber knew his friends' games had taken downward spirals recently, and Sonic was incredibly nervous about the movie. Mario grimaced and prepared to apologize when Sonic broke into a grin. "But at least it won't be as bad as yours was, eh red cap?" said Sonic with a smirk.

Mario got a dark look in his eyes. "I told-a you… we never-a talk about that-a! IT NEVER-A HAPPENED!" bellowed Mario much to Megaman and Sonic's glee. Damn he was STILL steamed about that damn movie. How could he have been so stupid as to sign that damn contract!? Why had they cast a Hispanic guy to do Luigi? Why were there dinosaurs? WHY?!

…Anyway.

"Yeah Sonic. I think it's kind of impossible for a movie to be worse than Mario's." said Megaman. "And hey, get the right writers on it and it could be a real hit. It's not impossible. Good video game movies have been made before." Said the robot boy helpfully.

Sonic snorted. "Yeah, tell that to Uwe Boll." Said Sonic in a despondent voice. "He's nowhere near it, thank God, but Sega seems to have a history of screwing shit up." Said the blue speedster. "So no, I'm not getting my hopes up."

Mario sighed and slung his arm around Sonic's shoulder. "Sonic, the-a movie will-a either be-a bad or it will-a not be-a bad. No-a matter what, it will-a raise attention to-a your games." Said the plumber helpfully. "And-a remember, you will always have-a us." He said, patting the hedgehog on the back.

"Yeah, yeah." Said Sonic, feeling better despite himself. Mario was right, of course. "I just… I miss the old days you know. Back when it was all side-scroller action." Said Sonic, reminiscing on what used to be.

Megaman joined him. "Yeah, back when you didn't need extreme graphics or achievements to be a great game." said the robot, looking up at the stars longingly. "No gore factor, no bull crap philosophy… just a player and a game." Megaman glanced at Mario. "You remember those days Mario?"

Mario nodded. "Yes-a. I-a remember way-a back-a when." Said Mario, and he did. He remembered those days, when it had just been him and Miyamoto. Blasting through levels, entertaining children with funny sounds and ridiculous scenarios. Iwata still with them. "Yeah-a, I remember. But-a those-a days are-a over. We made-a video games cool, and now it's-a their time." Said the plumber.

The world of games had changed so much over the years. Now they were becoming increasingly interactive and cinematic. You could determine the outcome by how you played. You had hour-long cut scenes and achievements upon achievements. Things hadn't gotten bad… they'd just changed. Video games weren't just business anymore, they were art.

"We laid the ground work, they take it from here." Said Sonic with a smile.

"But whenever they need a good old fashioned game, we'll be here." Asserted Megaman.

"One for all, and all for one." said Sonic.

They were quiet the rest of the evening. They found themselves simply staring at the stars, gazing up at their infinite realities. They passed it like that. Three friends. Three brothers. Three games. It would not be until morning, that the trinity of games would finally retire to their rooms.


	6. Surrender

Summary: Relationships can be complicated, some more so than others. But for Ike and Corrin, well, some things are worth fighting for. And maybe, just maybe, worth surrendering for.

Pairings: Ike/Corrin (F) romance. Ike and Marth friendship. Link/Samus romance. brief one sided Ike/Samus romance.

* * *

Ike was happy to admit that, when he first came to Smash Bros that he had had a massive crush on Samus Aran. He'd always had a thing for girls who could snap a bone if they wanted to. That she was pretty was also a bonus. But that had gotten shut down pretty quickly when he saw that she and Link were together. Ike wasn't the type of guy who stepped on other people's relationships. But while he hadn't pursued any romantic feelings, he had become friends with the two blondes, and was glad for that.

Ike loved Smash Bros. It was filled with people like him, people who didn't belong anywhere so they ended up being together. It was a large, bizarre, and screwed up little family. And now it had grown bigger with the fourth tournament. Some old faces were coming back, Mewtwo and Roy for two, and a bunch of new ones as well like Megaman and Bowser Jr.

Ike had met Corrin when he/she was in his/her male form, and the two had hit it off immediately. Ike's strong and relatively silent strength complimented Corrin's speed and unstoppable ferocity. The two made a pretty good team, and Ike had appreciated having another friend in the Smash Mansion.

But when he had seen Corrin as a female, he had felt the breath knocked right out of his lungs. Gods above, he'd never seen anyone so goddamn beautiful in his life. Her strength and valor filled him with admiration, and her beauty made his heart beat fast. Ike had felt a deep infatuation for Corrin as a female, which just made his interactions with male Corrin all the weirder. Damn it, he had gone and done it again. Fallen for someone near-impossible to be with.

And Corrin was by no means stupid. He/she noticed very much the way Ike conducted himself around him/her. Things were mostly fine when Corrin was a female, they enjoyed themselves in battles and were generally jolly together. But still, Corrin noticed that whenever he/she was a female Ike always seemed to hold himself back. Like he was trying not to have fun or enjoy himself too much. And things were even worse when Corrin was a guy. Ike refused to meet Corrin's eyes. He barely spoke to him/her when Corrin was a male. It was starting to get of the half-dragon's nerves.

Things came to a head after a battle between the Ike and Corrin against Luigi and Ness at Miiverse. It had gone splendidly, Luigi and Ness had been soundly beaten. Corrin, who had been in his/her female form, laughed and clapped Ike on his massive bicep. "Kick-ass Ike! That was INTENSE!" she cried.

Ike smiled and looked like he wanted to say something, but quickly shut his mouth. "Oh, uh, yeah. Yeah it was." He said quickly with a nod.

Corrin frowned. "Why do you keep doing that?" she asked sternly of him. At his questioning glance she continued. "Pulling back. It's like you're trying not to have fun."

Ike shook his head. "I- I'm not sure what you're talking about Corrin." He said nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the mercenary. "You're a terrible liar Ike." She said slowly. "Now what's up? This has been going on for a while, and you flat out ignore me when I'm a male. Spill it." She said

Ike looked like he'd rather be anywhere else right now. "Look Corrin, can we please just drop it?" he asked, starting to sweat. "This… please." He said looking for a way out.

"No Ike." She snapped. "Now. We're talking, now." When Ike said nothing the half-dragon's already frayed temper began to strain further. "For the love of the Gods Ike! Just freaking talk to me! Half the time you look like you want to puke and the other half you look like I'm a freaking gorgon. What's your deal?!" she exclaimed.

Ike shifted uncomfortably. There was a long, pregnant pause as he seemed to consider his words. Ike knew the power of words, and knew that the wrong ones could do more harm than any sword. "Corrin… you're amazing." He said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. "You're one of the most incredible people I've ever met. But… I've got some things… I need to think about some stuff." He said quietly. "Could we please talk about this tomorrow? Just… just give me some time to straighten things out.

Surprised by Ike's sudden straightforwardness and surprisingly emotional response Corrin found herself speechless for a few moments. Finally she said. "Ike…" but the mercenary cut her off.

"One day, then we'll talk. I promise."

* * *

"Reload." Said Ike to the Mii manning the bar in the Smash Lounge. It was late at night, and Ike had been consuming whiskey for quite a long length of time. Due to his power as a Smasher, it was difficult for Ike to get drunk. However, three hours of whiskey, straight with no chasers, tended to push the envelope of Smasher alcohol tolerance.

' _Coward'_ Ike thought bitterly to himself. What was he thinking? Why did he have to be so stupid? And most importantly, what the hell was he going to say to Corrin tomorrow?! Gods above, how did he manage to get himself into these situations? Give him a monster or a demon any day, anything but expressing his feelings to his crush who happened to be a male some of the time.

Only in Nintendo could this weird ass shit happen to someone.

"Ah, the smell of stale beer and defeat. I hate to say I told you so Ike, but I warned you that this infatuation of yours with Corrin could only end poorly for both of you." Said Marth in his typical aristocratic drawl as he sat down beside the mercenary. Ike groaned and rubbed his forehead as Marth ordered a scotch on the rocks. "Now would you like to discuss how we're to get you out of this with your head in tact or simply send you off to die." Said the Hero King.

Ike glared at the legendary hero he had heard about as a child. He had been ecstatic to meet the living legend in Smash, but had been rapidly disappointed to find that not only was the Hero King a complete girly man, but also a sassy lady-killer. Far flung from the badass hero he had imagined in his youth.

"Could you do me a favor and buzz off?" he said, slightly drunk. "I'm really not in the mood for your crap today Marth."

Marth sighed as he picked up his scotch. "Well I merely thought you might desire a sounding board for ideas for dealing with your dear Corrin. In reality I don't even understand the problem. You like her, it is fairly obvious to everyone that she reciprocates those feelings, so-"

"Woah, woah, woah. What was that last part?" said Ike, turning to Marth with an incredulous look on his face. "What are you saying, that Corrin likes me or something?" he said, glaring at Marth who was looking more and more amused by the second.

"Ike my boy, you're as dense as a harem anime protagonist." Said the Hero King taking a sip of his scotch. "Corrin likes you very much. Everyone can see it. Hell, Game&Watch can see it and he is literally two dimensional." Now Marth seemed truly puzzled. "You're saying you truly had no idea? By the Gods man, go out and get her, she's head over heels for you!"

"It's not HER I'm worried about." Said Ike glumly, taking another shot of whiskey.

Marth nodded. "Ah. The male aspect of her." He said with a sigh. "Indeed that is a hurdle for the two of you. But I don't see it as insurmountable." Marth gave a questioning look at Ike. "Unless you have a particular distaste for homosexuality?" he questioned.

Ike rapidly shook his head. "No, no. I got nothing against it, but I'm straight. I mean, I like guy-Corrin and all, but I REALLY like girl-Corrin. How the hell am I supposed to be with her, when she's a him half the time?" asked Ike. "What does that make us? Does she still like me when she's a guy? Are we just friends then? Gods this place is screwed up." Said Ike, rubbing his forehead. This was starting to give him a massive headache. He cursed his own Gods and Shigeru Miyamoto for getting him into a situation like this. "And I can't just ask her to not be a guy too, the male is part of who she is. I can't ask her to give that up."

Marth gazed at his friend with genuine sympathy in his eyes. "Ike." He said, laying a hand on his friend's shoulder. "If I may give you some advice?" he asked.

Ike sighed. "At this point Marth I'll take anything I can get." Said the mercenary.

Marth nodded. "Ike, love doesn't make sense." He said quietly. "Link and Samus, two people separated by technology and time, but they still made it work. Ganondorf and Bayonetta, while I don't want to think about what goes on with them they seem to have a pretty strong relationship. Hell, I think Jigglypuff and Kirby have something going on." Before Ike could ask his inevitable question Marth shook his head. "No, you do not want to know about that one."

"Not to get us back on track, but can we get back on track?" asked Ike.

"Right." Said Marth, setting down his drink. "The point is Ike, if you really want to start something with Corrin, you find a way to make it work." Said Marth. "So she's a guy sometimes, it just means that you have a friend who understands how your girlfriend's mind works. A man on the inside per se." said the Hero King with a smile, glad he had actually gotten a chuckle out of his melancholy friend.

Ike nodded, allowing Marth's words to sink in. "I… I think I get it." He said quietly. Then a slow smile spread across the mercenary's face. "Yeah… I think I know what I'm gonna do." He said, looking up.

Marth grinned. "Good. And remember, if you screw up it's only the rest of your life and potential happiness that will go down the toilet." He said with a chuckle. In Ike's defense, Marth kind of deserved that punch to the face.

* * *

Corrin and Ike met up in the Mario Galaxy stage. On reflection it might have been a bit corny, but Ike liked corny sometimes. Corrin was in his/her female form when she came up to Ike who was sitting down in the grass looking up at the stars. When the mercenary heard the half-dragon coming towards he looked up at her with a nervous grin. "Hey." He said lamely.

Corrin smiled. "Hey yourself." She seemed to have cooled down since yesterday, but she still had a suspicious look in her eyes. "Mind if I sit?" she asked, gesturing at the ground beside Ike.

"Sure." Said Ike. Corrin obliged and sat beside her friend. For a moment neither said anything, simply contemplating the stars, as well as Bowser's airship which sailed amongst them. It was after the long silence that Ike finally spoke. "Corrin… I want to… apologize for the way I've been acting." He said quietly. "Truth is… I was feeling… I was trying to work through some stuff and I took it out on you. I'm sorry." He said, not meeting her gaze.

Gods this was hard. It was so much easier just talking with your buddy about it. But that was the nature of what he was trying to do. Ike was a warrior, plain and simple. And telling someone what he was planning on telling Corrin was surrender in the truest sense of the word. And for a warrior like Ike, surrender was the hardest thing he could do. But sometimes, it was the right thing to do.

Corrin shrugged. "It's okay, I get it. But… what had you so you so wound up?" she asked in a concerned tone. Right now she was glad that Ike was being honest with her. Partly because she was his friend and it hurt when friends lied to her, and partly because Ike was such a terrible liar it was physically painful to watch him try.

Ike said nothing for a moment as he struggled to find the right words. "Corrin… I… I like you." He said, finally managing to get the words out. "I like you." He repeated. "You know… romantically." He said finally.

Corrin was surprised at this sudden admission, and in addition felt a very girlish glee at it. Honestly, it was hard for Corrin to reconcile both the male and female parts of his/herself. He/she was certain that the female part of him/herself was attracted to Ike, but the male part was a bit more ambiguous. It was awkward for Corrin.

"R-really." She asked. "I mean… which one." She said, feeling like an ass for asking. She knew that her double gender could sometimes be an annoyance to her friends. But now that she knew that Ike had… feelings for her she knew just how confusing for Ike it must have been.

Ike blushed fiercely. "This one. Oh- Uh- I mean- you're boy-form is cool too… but I don't want to be… romantic with it- him- you know what I mean." He said, feeling like a complete idiot. "I mean… Corrin… I'd like to be with you." He said. "All of you. Whether it's as a friend, a boyfriend, I want to be with you." He said, finding a strange relief in the confession. If this was surrender, then he liked it.

Corrin blinked at the emotion in Ike's voice. "Well Ike… I don't want you to be unhappy with my… condition." She settled on.

Ike shook his head. "I want you to be happy Corrin. And if you want me, I'm yours. But… I'm not sure if you're getting much." He said nervously.

Corrin smiled and cupped his chin. "Let's find out." She said softly, and kissed him.

It lasted a few seconds, and when she pulled away Ike was looking at her like he was… like he was really seeing her for the first time. "Wow. You're… you're really good at this." Said Ike with a dopey grin.

Corrin smiled. "So… willing to give this a chance?" she asked a little nervously.

"Yeah." Said Ike, grasping her hand. "I think that this is worth surrendering for."


	7. Dorito Time

Summary: It was an average day in the Smash Bros, for once, until Pit opened a bag of Doritos.

Pairings: Pit and Roy friendship. Mild Marth/Zelda romance. Blatant stupidity and much silliness abounds here.

It was a normal day in the Smash Bros mansion, and the residents of said mansion were relaxing in the lounge. It was one of their impromptu parties that they had sometimes. There were no fights for that day, and no one had challenged anyone else to the death, so it was an average party with no maiming or mauling what so ever. The only odd this was that someone had had the foresight to bring snacks, and the Smashers were enjoying some alcohol and junk food in their own Mansion. Life was sweet for our favorite Video Games.

Unfortunately, life is never that good for very long.

Pit had been having fun in the crowd, ample pranking opportunity. So far he had cut off a good inch of Samus's ponytail and slipped it into Fox's workout bag, placed a glob of ultra-sticky glue on the floor which Wario had promptly stepped in, slipped a liquid that would give Sonic terrible gas into said Hedgehog's beer, and placed a whoopee cushion on Ganondorf's chair which said Demon King had promptly sat on. So far he had not been caught, and now it was time for his piece de resistance. Spiking the punch.

Not with alcohol you see, that was quite available to all the Smashers except the kids. No, this was something he had picked up at the local drug store, something that had been contract made for this very event. And every drop was going into the boy's punch. Long story short, there were going to be a lot of VERY happy girlfriends tonight.

His nefarious mission complete, Pit decided to relax and have his very favorite snack, Ranch Doritos. He settled back against the wall to enjoy watching the chaos unfold. He opened the bag and pulled out a chip and prepared to take a bite when he noticed something strange.

Link was standing at the edge of the crowd, his back to Pit. But the way he stood has completely parallel to the angelic trickster. Pit looked at the Dorito, then at Link. At the Dorito, then Link. This repeated itself several times as a realization slowly dawned on Palutena's Champion. His face became reverent, and he looked up at Link very slowly.

"Hey Pit!" Roy greeted his friend as he approached his friend and prank accomplice. "I just got Zelda's panties from her room and put them in Luigi's room. Marth is gonna be so freaking pissed." Giggled the young chaos bringer. When he got no reaction from Pit he frowned. "Pit, what's going on? Are you okay buddy?" asked the red-haired hero in concern. Normally Pit would be cracking up, but his attention was glued on something else.

Pit slowly looked at Roy, a shocked look on his face. "Look." Was all he said, and then he slowly held up a Ranch Dorito. Confused, Roy looked as well as he could down Pit's line of sight.

What he saw shocked him to the core, and struck him like a freight train to the groin. The Dorito was a perfect line up to Link's waist, abdomen, and shoulders.

 _ **Link was a cool ranch Dorito!**_

"Oh my holy Gods above." Said Pit and Roy at the same time.

(Exactly five minutes and thirty nine seconds later…)

"No boys, we cannot buy the Frito-Lay Company just to make Link the new logo for Doritos." Said Shigeru Miyamoto in a resigned voice. "Not only can we not afford it, but its also the single stupidest thing I've ever heard of."

"BUT WE WANT IT!" screamed Roy and Pit at the same time.

"Link could finally fulfil his destiny to become a true Cool Ranch Dorito!" cried Pit in a petulant voice. "It's brilliant, BRILLIANT!"

"For the last time, NO!" exclaimed Miyamoto. "Now, get out or I will sick Uwe Boll on both of your franchises!" exclaimed the Godfather of Video Games.

"YOU WOULDN'T!" cried Pit and Roy.

"Watch me." He said in a deadly tone. With that, both Roy and Pit ran screaming from the room to avoid the horrors of the Boll. As they left, Miyamoto sat at his desk and pulled out his phone. "Sakurai? Yeah, it's me. Get in contact with Marvel and Frito-Lay. I'm the golden goose and I just laid a golden egg."

* * *

About a month later when Pit went to open another bag of Doritos, he was incensed to find that Link and Captain America were the new logos for Cool Ranch flavor.

He and Roy murdered many Miis in their rage.

* * *

 **AN: …Yeah I don't know where this came from either. I guess I kept mentally equating Link and Captain America and saw some meme's about Steve being a Cool Ranch Dorito. And then this happened. Tell me what you think I guess.**


	8. Alektorophobia

Summary: Samus, Tifa, and Cloud try to help Link cure himself of his fear of a certain bird. It looks like all their attempts will be for nothing until Ganondorf of all people makes a suggestion.

Pairings: Link/Samus romance. Tifa/Cloud romance. Tifa and Samus friendship. Link and Cloud Friendship. Ganondorf/Bayonetta romance.

Link, the Chosen Hero of the Gods, was the epitome of the word valiant. He could take on demons of hell and terrible monsters out of nightmare with a smile on his face. He could travel to unknown lands and venture into trap infested temples with the utter assurance within himself of victory. His courage was infallible in all aspects except one.

Link, the Chosen Hero, had a mortal and complete fear of chickens.

You may laugh, but it was a real problem for him, especially with chickens being a useable item in Smash Bros. As soon as the villains noticed this fear of Link's they began to use it against him. (Except Ganondorf. While he despised the little e-word he was above such childish pranks.) It was getting out of hand, and the other Smashers were getting tired of finding chicken feathers everywhere. Since no one was willing aggravate ALL of the villains at once, they decided to cure Link of his fear of chickens. Chosen for the task was Samus, Link's girlfriend, Cloud, Link's rival and close friend, and Tifa, a guest of the Mansion and Link's friend by association.

The following are the attempts of the three valiant souls to help the Hero. Well, the ones that didn't end in a Category-5 Disaster according to FEMA.

 **(Samus's Attempt: The Coop)**

"NO! NO! NEVER!" cried Link as he and Samus stood outside of Farmer Brown's chicken coop. "No amount of… ANYTHING! Nothing upon heaven or Earth will get me into that chicken coop with those demon spawn!" he cried aloud. Farmer Brown was starting to regret his decision to let the Smashers use his farm for this.

"Come on Link, just go in there for five minutes and I guarantee you'll be cured." She said trying her best to be diplomatic. She was seriously considering just throwing him in there with the foul, but that wouldn't do anything for her boyfriend. "Five minutes, I guarantee it." She assured him with as much kindness in her voice she could muster.

Link wasn't buying it. "I don't WANT to be cured Samus! I'm not sick! I'm right to fear these things. They're more terrible than any demon Ganondorf can conjure up! It's my way of staying alive, if you were smart then you'd fear them too!" he cried, hysteria in his eyes.

"Yeah… I'm gonna be needing an extra fifty for this." Said Farmer brown, wiping his brow. He looked like half of him wanted to laugh and the other half wanted to cry.

Samus sighed. Time to pull out the big guns. "Link," she said in a husky voice. "If you do this… I'll do that one thing you've always wanted me to do." She said with a wink, internally swearing to beat the crap out of her idiot boyfriend for driving her to this. But this phobia of his was just getting out of hand. He needed help, and Master Hand was not willing to dish out the money for therapy, so this was what they were going with.

Link's eyes widened as he stared at Samus for a long moment. "Princess Leia golden bikini?" he asked suspiciously. Samus nodded, trying her best not to throttle Link. Link gave a shuddering breath. "Alright, I'll do it." He said with as much bravery as he could, and promptly walked into the coop.

For thirty seconds there was nothing but silence from the coop. And then there was a chorus of furious clucking and Link screamed in horror. "AHH! THEY'RE GOING FOR MY EYES! **DIN'S FIRE!** " He screamed, and the coop was abruptly filled with fire. Samus stared, knowing Master Hand was going to have her ass for this.

 **(Cloud's Attempt: Chocobo Racing)**

"Alright Link, we're going to have a little competition." Said Cloud as the two walked towards that chocobo ranch a few miles outside of Midgar. "Winner gets bragging rights and loser has to kiss Wario full on the mouth." He said with an evil grin. Both shuddered at that idea.

Link grinned. "Alright then spiky, what's the challenge, I'm perfectly happy to give you another beat down?" He said.

Cloud smirked. "Remember, by refusing to do this you forfeit the challenge and therefore have to kiss Wario full on the mouth. Backing out isn't an option." Said Cloud as Link's grin fell away and his eyes became suspicious. "I just want to make that clear, there is no way out of this." Said Cloud. "Because the challenge is…" he trailed off as he pushed open the stable doors. "…chocobo racing. From here to Midgar."

Link stared at the giant chicken creatures and promptly turned around before Cloud grabbed him. "No! No way in hell! I'd rather kiss Wario! Not this!" he cried as he struggled to get away from the ex-SOLDIER.

"Come on Link! Chocobo are literally the nicest creatures around." Said Cloud, redirecting Link and practically carried him into the stable. "They're docile and friendly. Nothing to fear. I promise." Said Cloud.

"LIES!" cried Link. "They're giant chickens! The devil's poultry! MOMMY!" cried the hylian in a girlish shriek.

Cloud set Link down outside a chocobo stall and held him in place. "Come on Link, just reach out your hand and you'll see. They're nice creatures, and you'll really enjoy riding one." Promised Cloud. Link gulped, but slowly raised his hand to the chocobo in the stall. Cloud grinned. The rancher here had assured Cloud that this chocobo was the most docile and easy-going of them all. No one, not even Link, could piss off this chocobo.

The moment Link's hand got within three inches of it, the chocobo squawked angrily and burst out of the stall at Link, its eyes blazing with fury. Link screamed and ran for it, the chocobo after him. Ironically, Link won the race, making it back to Midgar long before Cloud.

Neither Cloud, Tifa, or Wario were very happy about what followed.

 **(Tifa's Attempt: Baby Steps)**

Alright Link. I know you've had some bad experiences over these past few days." Said Tifa as brightly as she could as Link clutched his anti-chicken charm to his chest and whimpered softly. "But, we're going to start small. Your problem seems to be with fully grown chickens, so we're going to start with baby chickens, easily one of the cutest things in existence." Said Tifa as they approached the little pen for chicks at the local Petting Zoo. It was owned by Farmer Bob, as Farmer Brown had refused to let any Smashers near his farm or property ever again.

Link looked down at the horde of baby chicks and gulped. "Well, I guess they are pretty cute." He said a bit reluctantly.

Tifa smiled. "Exactly. They aren't evil, they're just animals." She reached down and picked one up, holding it gently in her hands. "See, they're completely harmless." She said brightly. "Now, I want you to pet it." She said. At Link's expression the brawler sighed. "Just one finger, they don't bite." She said with infinite patience.

Link grimaced, but extended a hand to the chick, and laid one finger on it. The chick did nothing, it just sat there being a chick. Emboldened by his success, Link stroked the little creature with two fingers. "H-hey. I'm doing it!" he said brightly.

Tifa nodded eagerly. "See, they aren't so bad are they?" she asked. "Now, want to hold him?" she asked. Link's face was hesitant, but then he nodded. "Alright, now, I want you to-" whatever she was going to say next was lost as the minute she ceased contact with the chick the little creature flew up and attacked Link's face, going immediately for the eyes.

The Hylian screamed in horror and tripped, falling into the pen. What followed is still a viral video on YouTube and currently has four-hundred million hits.

For Tifa, she was rather confused and horrified. If she didn't know better, but after Cloud's story she wasn't so sure anymore, it looked like there was some kind of global conspiracy of chickens against Link. It was almost as though the chickens were… organized.

* * *

Cloud, Tifa and Samus had all been soundly defeated by Link's fear of poultry and the hero was currently hiding in his room within a fortress of pillows. They had exhausted their options and were being forced to take drastic measures.

"Well, well, well. You must be truly desperate, to come to me for help." Smirked Ganondorf as he sat across from them, Bayonetta next to him. "So tell me, is the little runt still having such trouble with poultry? I've seen the YouTube video, most entertaining." Laughed the King of Darkness. Bayonetta giggled as well, for the video had been most entertaining to watch.

Samus glared at Ganondorf. "Look Frankenstein, we're not here to make conversation. We need your help. We have an idea, but we need you and your witch here to pull it off." She snapped at Ganondorf.

Cloud grimaced. "But yeah, we are kind of desperate."

Bayonetta smirked. "Ah yes, but we must ask what we get out of this little arrangement. Dear Ganondorf is not in the habit of helping his mortal doe for free, nor am I." she said, stretching lazily, like a cat. Cloud fought the urge to look at her breast, mainly because Tifa was in the room and would murder him if he tried.

Tifa spoke up. "You get the hot tub to yourselves. For a whole week." Said Tifa. Needless to say, both were in after that.

 **(Group Effort: The Damsel in Distress)**

"Link!" cried Tifa, jumping out at the young Hero on his way to breakfast. "Ganondorf and Bayonetta have kidnapped Samus! You've got to save her!" she cried theatrically, trying her best not to make the acting too obvious.

Link jumped in shock and horror. But before he could even react Tifa grabbed him and shook him hard." She's in there, It's all on you Link!" she cried, and promptly threw Link through a wall, leaving a Link shaped hole in the wall, a la Looney Tunes. Brushing off her hands Tifa walked away, her part done.

Dazed, Link stood and looked around, and promptly stared in abject horror. There, in the massive Smash Bros Gymnasium, was a giant black chicken. (Of course in reality it was simply made out of Bayonetta's suit and enhanced with some of Ganondorf's sorcery. Said witch was currently naked, much to the enjoyment of Ganondorf.) Link felt the incredible urge to urinate right then, but managed to hold it. For you see, Samus was also in the gym, tied up behind the monstrous beast.

"Oh… help Link… please help." Said Samus in a pained tone, hating having to play the role of damsel in distress. But she bore it, swearing to beat the crap out of Cloud for coming up with this asinine plan.

Link looked at Samus, then the chicken. He swallowed, and summoned his courage. He drew the Master Sword. For himself, Link was not afraid to run from chickens. But for those he cared about, when they were in trouble, he would face anything. That was what a Hero did. And Link was the very definition of a Hero.

With a war cry, he charged.

(Thirty Minutes Later)

Link was victorious, but had fainted dead away after 'rescuing' his girlfriend. Samus woke him. "Hey, Link." She said. "Look up, you did it. You s- sav- you *hack*" she said, unable to say it. "You... helped me." she finally managed to get out, looking sick.

Link got up groggily and looked at the dead 'chicken'. Then, a slow smile came over him. "I… I did it. I DID IT!" he cried in joy. "I'm not afraid anymore!" In joy he jumped on top of the chicken and struck a heroic pose. "I AM LINK! THE SLAYER OF-"

"Hey Link." Interrupted Master Hand over the intercom. "PETA is on the phone and are asking for you. And I think I can hear them lighting the torches."


	9. Stalkers and Apprentices

Summary: Ganondorf finds out that he has a fangirl. Bayonetta is amused, and decides that the two of them just might fit into her own ideas quite nicely.

Pairings: Ganondorf/Bayonetta romance. Parental Ganondorf and Ashley. Parental Bayonetta and Ashley. Ashley and Midna friendship.

Ever since the Fourth Tournament had begun, Ganondorf had had the distinct feeling of being watched. All of his instincts were telling him that someone was following him, and he had fully intended to deal with it. But then Bayonetta had come along and his mind had been drawn to other matters. Besides, he had felt no negative or violent intentions from this feeling, so he had dismissed it as unimportant. But now it was really starting to get on his nerves. He always felt like he was being followed. And most recently someone had rummaged through his books while he was busy 'educating' that fool Kamek on what a real Warlock could do.

That, of course, was the final straw. He was going to END this little problem permanently. So, the next morning, he created a phantom of himself who took his place out in the halls while Ganondorf himself made himself invisible to observe. Sure enough, the culprit soon followed after the phantom, hiding under a cloak enchanted with a Notice-Me-Not Charm: a spell used to conceal the presence of the caster unless they were specifically being looked for.

Despite himself the Dark King found himself mildly impressed. It was an interesting little bit of magic, not to mention clever as well. Decidedly difficult to do especially considering what perceived to be the age of the caster which seemed to be young. Ganondorf could see how this little stalker had escaped his gaze for so long. But still, it was time to end this little charade, Charms or no Charms.

Ganondorf dispelled the phantom and lunged for the stalker, ripping aside the cloak and the culprit gave a surprised "EEP!" To his surprise he was looking down at Ashley, that little witch from Wario's game. The dark haired girl was staring up at him, admiration in her eyes. "Wow! You got through my spell! Then it's true what they say, you're the greatest Dark Wizard of all!" she cried in an excited tone.

Ganondorf glared down at her as imperiously as he could. I occurred to him that any of the Smashers passing buy would have found the scene hilarious. The giant King of Evil and this child witch having a stare off. Ganondorf spoke in a low and threatening tone, the one that made his enemies shit themselves. "You have followed me around like a moth around a flame and you entered my room and went through my things. You will explain your actions before I destroy you." He said.

To her credit, the young girl never quavered. The young Assist Trophy cleared her throat and floated up to eye level with Ganondorf. "Today, Dark King, is your lucky day. Today, the great Ashley gives you permission to teach her your magic spells." She said as though she had just given Ganondorf the honor of a lifetime.

The Demon King glared down at the girl, mildly amused if anything. "And I would impart my tools of the Dark Arts upon you… why?" he asked in an aloof tone.

Ashley seemed taken aback. "Wha- of course you'll teach me! I'm the Great Ashley! You should be honored to teach me your dark spells!" she declared, her face turning red with anger. He supposed it was intended to be frightening, but really it just amused the King of Demons. He decided to simply let the child go. He was by no means above killing children, King of Darkness and all that, but only when it served a purpose. Besides, she was an Assist Trophy. Useful in this silly little Tournament.

Ganondorf snorted derisively. "Begone from my presence child. I have no time to teach infants the true arts of darkness." Ganondorf simply turned around and left as Ashley screamed after him, shooting children's hexes after him which he quite easily blocked. Even though he had said no, Ganondorf had a funny feeling that this wasn't over.

* * *

As it turned out, it wasn't. Not by a long shot. Despite how annoying she was proving to be, Ganondorf had to admit that he somewhat admired the girl for her sheer tenacity. Ashley had made it her mission to dog Ganondorf to teach her the Dark Arts. And now that he had exposed her stalking ways, she had taken to openly pestering him. Ganondorf had chosen the nobler path, so rather than simply killing her he ignored her, hoping she would become frustrated and leave him in peace. It didn't work. Ashley was driven to learn the Dark Arts from him.

Ganondorf was in the training room, taking out some much needed frustration on the heavy bag (enchanted to be extra durable by Master Hand, and a good thing too given his inhuman strength and power). He was shirtless, having forgone his usual armor for a pair of Gi bottoms that the Mansion provided for its residents. Ashley wasn't around for a change, and Ganondorf was taking a moment to be alone.

He finished the heavy bag off with a final Warlock Punch, blasting it into sand with a savage roar. He stood there for a moment, sweating and panting from the exertion when he heard a familiar English accent from behind him. "Ah yes my dear, hit it once or twice more. I don't think it is truly dead yet." Said Bayonetta with a laugh as she sauntered up behind the Demon King, her lover.

Ganondorf gave a wolfish grin. "Ah, Cereza." He said, using her true name. Ganondorf was one of the few allowed to use her true name, indeed, he was one of the few who knew it. "Have you come here to aid me in my 'anger management courses' as you call them?" he asked as the Umbra Witch strode in front of him.

"Oh heavens no." she laughed. "Your anger is one of your best qualities I believe. To attempt to manage it is to attempt to try to control a raging dragon. And one of those things is FAR more fun than the other." She said with a wink.

Ganondorf laughed a low chuckle and cracked his neck before grabbing the witch and kissing her. She kicked away from him and perched upon the basketball hoop. "I have missed you my dear Cereza." Grinned the Dark King.

Bayonetta waved her hand in a dismissive manner. "Oh posh my dear Demon King, you're going to make me blush." She said. "And I do apologize for being gone so long, Jeanne called me in for a very specific mission against the angels." She said with a dark grin indicating that said mission had proved most painful for the angels. "How that adorable little boy, Pit was his name, is related to those odious fools I'll never know." She said. "And upon my return, I find that you've managed to snag yourself a fangirl. Simply adorable!" she declared.

Ganondorf growled to himself and his foul mood instantly returned. "Aye, so you've heard of the most recent addition to my list of things I intend to turn into a pile of ash." He said through gritted teeth.

"Ah, please don't." she said, alighting down on the ground. "She really is quite cute, and would make an excellent pet." She said. "Besides, she does have potential as a magic user." She said with a shrug.

Ganondorf snorted. "She is an arrogant and violent child who does not appreciate the power she requests." He stated bluntly as was his wont.

"And I'd be willing to bet good money that you were once the same way." She said, poking him in the chest. "A bright eyed little child in a onesie and a teddy bear demanding that mighty Demise teach you magic. Am I wrong?"

Ganondorf glared at her for a long moment, but he had to admit that she was sort of right. He too had once been an arrogant and overeager child, much like Ashley. But still, his pride would not bend to admit it. "Perhaps you're right and she does possess potential, my magic is a terrible thing to wield to the unprepared. I would have to see proof that she can learn my ways, the Dark Ways." He said in his typical grandiose fashion. "Let her do that, and I shall gladly take her as my apprentice." He said. And without another word he stalked away.

Bayonetta smirked like a pleased cat. She had just had a most wonderful idea that could easily get her into trouble with her lover, but all the same it would be good for him. He needed something to focus on besides trying to take over Hyrule and the Triforce.

* * *

Over the next two weeks Ganondorf found that Ashley was leaving him in peace, but the rest of the Mansion was not. Apparently news of his announcement that should Ashley impress Ganondorf with a bit of magic he would make her his apprentice had found its way around the Mansion. When Ganondorf had accused Bayonetta she merely giggled and called him adorable. Why he cared for that infuriating woman he would never be able to fathom.

As for Ashley, she left Ganondorf in peace for one reason and one reason alone. She was studiously attempting to master one of Ganondorf's spells which she had conveniently found under her pillow the morning after Ganondorf's declaration. While she couldn't read Hylian, her friend Midna had insisted on helping when she heard that this was to get at Ganondorf.

Finally, the big day arrived. And Ashley was ready. A master like Ganondorf needed no magic circles, only the sheer force of his will, but Ashley did since she was still a novice. The occult symbols engraved in the floor of her room were perfect, the ingredients were gathered, and she had the will to pull it off.

" ** _Oh spioradan olc agus bàs_**

 ** _tighinn a mach agus a 'dèanamh mo iarrtais!_**

 ** _Le sgàil a 'chogaidh._**

 ** _Le na deamhain gu h-ìosal._**

 ** _Dol a mach agus a 'fuaigheal an sìol ùpraid!_** _ **"**_ (Translation below.)

The moment the words were done there was a rush of energy and a feeling of power that she had never experienced before. Then, a few moments later, the sounds of chaos rose from all around her.

Smirking, Ashley sat back in her chair and waited for the inevitable blast wave. Sure enough, Ganondorf walked, a blank look on his face, and his skin a hot pink color.

"Ashley, it would seem that everyone in the Mansion has turned pink, and there seems to be no way to wash it off." He said in an even tone. "In addition, everything tastes like a spinach and sauerkraut casserole." He said conversationally. "It also seems that this is the first spell that I ever cast. Imagine that." He said.

"Oh yes, imagine that." Said Ashley with a smirk. There were no words between them, both staring the other down. Finally Ganondorf sighed and spoke.

"Your lessons begin tomorrow at twelve. Don't be late." He said simply before slamming the door to prepare the counter spell.

Bayonetta, watching from the shadows, smiled. This new little partnership could prove to be… interesting. Besides, Bayonetta had decided that Ganondorf needed practice for when their own child came along. Oh Ganondorf didn't know that she planned for him to get her pregnant, but he'd come around. The mighty King of Demons would prove useful in continuing the line of the Umbra Witches, and being in love was a nice perk as well. She felt a little guilty for manipulating the King of Darkness like this, but her feelings for him were genuine. So it balanced out in the end. Besides, Ashley would greatly help in bringing Ganondorf down her line of thinking.

And if Bayonetta helped the two of them down that road, well that was nobody's damn business was it?

* * *

Translation:

Oh spirits of evil and death

come forth and do my bidding!

By the shadow of war.

By the demons below.

Go forth and sew the seeds of chaos!


	10. COSPLAY TIME!

Summary: There's a nerd convention in town, and the Smashers want to attend. However, to avoid detection they decide to go in disguise. You know what this means… COSPLAY TIME!

Pairings: Link / Samus romance, Ike / Corrin (F) romance, Marth / Zelda romance, Ganondorf / Bayonetta romance, Parental Ganondorf-Bayonetta and Ashley, Cloud / Tifa romance, General friendship feels amongst the Smash Bros.

* * *

"I cannot believe that you talked me into this." Growled Ike as he pulled at his costume uncomfortably. "I don't even want to go to this weirdo convention. We get enough of the weird stuff at the Mansion." He complained to his girlfriend as they approached the building for the convention they were attending.

The Smashers had agreed to go to the convention for recreational purposes, but given their status as Games they had decided to go in cosplay to avoid drawing unwanted attention to themselves. And of course, many of the Smashers had decided to have fun with this. Like Corrin, who had actually gotten really into the idea. She was cosplaying as Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones, Mother of Dragons and all that, and had convinced Ike to dress in a corresponding costume to hers. Hence why Ike was now dressed as Jorah Mormont.

"Come on Ike. It's just for fun. And besides, there should be a lot of Batman stuff here." She said as she smoothed her dress which Ike had to admit she looked downright sexy in. He just hoped she didn't revert to her male form. That would just be super awkward. Also, he cursed the day he revealed that Batman was his favorite superhero.

"Alright, but where are the others. If I'm gonna suffer they're gonna suffer to." He said grumpily as he surveyed the crowd for his fellow Smashers. "Sure are a lot of Deadpools at this thing." He said to himself.

"And slave Princess Leia's." Agreed Corrin, wondering where one actually got the actual slave-Leia outfit. Who made them? What store carried them? She wanted answers people!

"Hey guys!" came the cheerful voice of Link. Ike and Corrin turned to see Link and Samus coming towards them, and both Ike and Corrin felt their mouths drop open when they saw exactly what costume their friends had chosen.

It was well known that Link loved Lord of the Rings, so it was no surprise that they had come in cosplay of that. Nor was it surprising that they had come as Aragorn and Arwen, the most famous couple from the story. However, it seemed that Samus was the one dressed as Aragorn in the Ranger's outfit, while Link was the one wearing Arwen's lacy white dress.

"Explanation. Now." Demanded Ike as soon as his mind properly registered seeing two of his closest friends dress in drag. Corrin was less used to the madness of the Smashers, and had not yet recovered.

"Well, I wanted to do Lord of the Rings, but Samus wanted to do Star Trek." Said Link cheerfully. "But Samus only agreed to do this one if I were the one in the Arwen costume." He said. "Honestly I don't know what people are complaining about. This fabric is so smooth against my skin." He remarked, rubbing a sleeve between two fingers.

Samus sighed and patted Link on the head. "You better be glad that you're adorable. And good in the bedroom." Said Samus with a sigh. "Honestly I had no idea he'd actually take me up on this. But hey, a deal's a deal." Said Samus with a shrug. "Plus, this Ranger costume is pretty badass." Said the bounty hunter with a grin. "But tomorrow we're doing Star Trek." She said, to which Link nodded with an agreeable smile.

Further conversation was interrupted by Cloud's voice as he approached. "Well, well Link. Guess I was right: it is Samus who wears the pants in the relationship." Said the ex-SOLDIER with a smirk. All four turned to the latest arrivals, Ike and Corrin both praying that Cloud was in something slightly more normal. Much to their relief, Cloud was dressed in a Naruto outfit, complete with Hokage robes, with Tifa nearby in a Hinata outfit. "I knew you were a girly man Link, but this is ridiculous." Snorted Cloud.

Link glared at the newest arrival. "Yeah? Well at least my cosplay has thought put into it. Naruto? You and about ten thousand other dweebs." He said with a rather wolf-like snarl. Samus discreetly pulled out some popcorn from… somewhere and offered some to Tifa.

"Thanks. You look great by the way." Said Tifa with a thumbs up while Samus munched on popcorn

"You wanna go Peter Pan?!" Snarled Cloud, rolling up his sleeves. "Just don't get your period blood everywhere." He snapped. Ike tensed, preparing to pull them apart. If a fight broke out here it would negate the purpose of the costumes, and then he would have gotten into this stupid costume for nothing.

"Alright that's enough from both of you." Came the stern voice of Zelda, much to Ike's relief. However, hers and Marth's cosplay was a little confusing. Marth seemed to be dressed in a simple tuxedo, while Zelda was dressed in a fancy, if rather low cut around the cleavage and revealing of the leg, gold dress.

"Zelda!" greeted Link of his old friend happily, giving her a hug. "I'm so glad you could make it!" he said brightly.

"Good to see you two old buddy." She said, pulling out of the hug. "And I have to say, that dress looks almost as good as mine does." She said, not bothering to hide a smirk while Link simply took the compliment.

"By the wat, who are you guys dressed as?" asked Ike, scratching his head. "I mean, we're at a nerd convention, not an opera." He said while both Marth and Zelda shot him a dirty look. "At least you ditched the tiara. Might want to lend it to Link though. He seems to be getting into the Arwen thing." He said with a shrug.

"I'll have you know, Ike, that Zelda and I are James Bond and his love interest. Which one? That's up to you to decide." Said Marth, producing a spray painted gold prop gun from his tuxedo.

"And feminism marches on." Said Samus so low only Tifa could hear. The brawler nodded with a wry look.

Before any further conversation could take place, the sky was suddenly covered in a black veil, much to the alarm of the non-Smasher attendees. The Smashers simply got ready for whatever was coming.

However, much to their surprise, the _Imperial March_ started to play, and a door of green fire appeared on one end of the blackness. Through the door, came a man in an absolutely flawless Darth Vader cosplay. "Ganondorf." Growled Link to himself, recognizing the presence of his most ancient foe.

It was true. Somehow, probably through sorcery, Ganondorf had acquired an absolutely flawless Darth Vader costume. Complete with respirator noises. Beside him on his arm was Bayonetta, wearing a skimpier version of Maleficent's robes. As the dark couple approached, the darkness slowly dissipated, leaving a shocked bunch of nerds all around.

"Peasants. Slightly more important peasants." Said Ganondorf idly, taking off his helmet for a moment. "Nice dress Link." Said Ganondorf with a vicious grin while Link's ears turned red in anger. Samus held him back from attacking Ganondorf, but it was a near thing.

"Wonderful costumes, all of you dears." Said Bayonetta in a more mollifying tone. "I do hope that Diablo and I haven't caused too much of a stir, but Diablo simply loves the dramatic far too much to pass up a chance like that." She said with a martyred sigh.

Link snickered. "Diablo? Really Ganondorf? What are you, a Mexican wrestler?" he asked while the others started to snicker as well. "Why not just go the full nine yards and call yourself Nacho Libre?" he said through his giggles. Ganondorf looked positively murderous, a look that only worsened when Bayonetta winked at him. She had known very well what the reactions of the Smashers would be. However, Ganondorf's rampage was halted by the arrival of a very familiar and slightly annoying witch named Ashley.

"Have no fear teacher! Ashley had arrived!" declared the little witch, jumping over Ganondorf. Ashley was dressed, strangely enough, as Yuno Gasai from Future Diary. Complete with a pink wig over her normally black hair. Instantly, every lolicon in the room was on high alert, but quickly backed off when they saw who she was dressed as. No one was eager to get a hatchet to the face courtesy of the greatest Yandere in all of anime history.

"Aww, you're adorable in that." Said Tifa, scooping Ashley into a hug.

"UNHAND ME WENCH! I AM NOT CUTE! I AM A DEVIOUS AND POWERFUL WITCH!" she cried while Bayonetta took pictures and the other girls cooed over how cute Ashley looked. "TEACHER! HELP ME!" she cried out, but it seemed that Ganondorf was nowhere in sight.

"Wait a minute, where is tall, dark, and ugly?" asked Zelda, looking around. Ashley took the moment to escape and hide behind Bayonetta.

 _SLAP!_

All turned to the sound to see that Ganondorf, his helmet back in place, had bitch slapped the shizbit out of a Kylo Ren cosplayer. "That's what you get for disgracing the Sith you whiny little bitch!" thundered Ganondorf. "As shall be the fate of all Kylo Ren's I meet here today! They shall receive an education from a TRUE SITH LORD!" declared Ganondorf.

Ike grinned. "You know what Corrin, I was wrong. This is going to be awesome."


	11. Karting Memories

**Summary: Link remembers how he was invited to the First Smash Brothers Tournament. Surprisingly, it coincides with the First Mario Kart Tournament.**

 **Pairings: Link and Mario friendship and rivalry. Link and Ganondorf enemies. Mario and Peach romance. Link and Peach friendship Bowser and Ganondorf friendship. Link and Cloud friendship and rivalry. Link and Zelda friendship. Link and Saria friendship.**

 **Warnings: The Rage of Mario Kart**

* * *

"Woo-hoo! I-a win again!" cried Mario as he passed the finish line a mere two feet ahead of Link on his Master Cycle. "Hail Mario! The-a King of Nintendo and-a Rainbow Road!" cried the Italian plumber as he hopped out of his Kart and did a little victory dance.

Link dismounted and threw his helmet in rage. "Right there. I WAS RIGHT THERE! But then SOMEONE decided to be a dick and fucking BLUE SHELL ME AT THE LAST SECOND!" screamed Link, going through what was now commonly called "Kart Rage". It was a common disease that affected all who played Mario Kart. Common symptoms include extreme rage, high blood pressure, constipation, and extreme profanity.

"Remember-a Link: The-a blood will-a run when you press-a start." Laughed Mario at his old friend's pain. "For all is-a fair in-a love and-a Kart." Snickered the Italian.

"When I find the little bastard who threw that shell I'm going to teach him a violent lesson in pain!" snarled Link, looking more animal than man at the moment. (Luigi suddenly felt a very cold chill run up his spine, and he suddenly regretted throwing that Blue Shell for some reason. He suddenly felt that letting all of the other finish the race before him was a good idea.)

"As-a opposed to-a peaceful lesson in-a pain." Said Mario as Peach came up to him and wrapped him in a big hug. "Oh-a, hello-a Peach." Said Mario, returning the hug to his Princess.

"Oh Mario, that was s imply wonderful race!" she cried. "You're driving skills are simply beyond amazing." She said before releasing the plumber and turning to Link. "Oh Link, I'm dreadfully sorry that you got hit by that Blue Shell. You were so excellent out there today." She said with a cheerful smile. Link flushed, embarrassed at his earlier outburst. But he couldn't help it! Karting just brought out the worst in him.

It was times like this he envied Peach. Somehow she was never affected by Kart Rage, and always maintained a cheerful demeanor while racing. It was the same in Smash. She never got competitive, only smiled and continued on her way. It was downright disturbing sometimes.

Unfortunately, Link was interrupted from his thoughts by booming laughter from Bowser. "Hey, Tinkerbelle! Nice going with the race! Shame bout that Blue Shell, especially when you were RIGHT THERE! BWHAHAHA!" laughed the Koopa King. In a flash Link's Kart Rage returned and he hurled a Red Shell at Bowser, which promptly exploded in the Koopa King's face. Yeah he kind of deserved that.

"ARRGH! I HATE THIS GAME!" roared Link, kicking his Master Cycle. He quickly regretted this descicion and grabbed his foot, hopping about in pain. "Oww, fricking metal!" he cursed.

"Peach giggled and laid a hand on Link's shoulder. "Oh Link, this isn't all bad. It's how we first got you into Smash Bros." she said with a smile.

* * *

 _(Hyrule, Era of the Hero of Time, Ganondorf's castle.)_

 _Link, the Hero of Time, stood at the edge of the pit of Fire that protected the floating castle of Ganondorf: the King of Darkness and Link's sworn enemy. Somewhere within was Princess Zelda, Link's treasured friend, and the Dark King himself. Between them lay whatever torturous nightmares Ganondorf could concoct and any number of demons he had summoned up from the bowels of Hell._

 _Was Link afraid? Yes, of course. But he also knew he was not alone. He had Navi, his fairy companion. And though they were not in sight, the Sages were with him as well. All of them, the friends and comrades he had made in his travels. And he sensed that on some far off plane of existence the Gods were with him as well._

" _ **Link!**_ _" came Saria's voice. "_ _ **Ganondorf is going to have all sorts of nasty creatures up his sleeve. Are you sure you're ready for this?**_ _" she asked in a worried voice. Link nearly cried. Even now, here at the end of all things, Saria was worried for him._

" _It's okay Saria." Said Link confidently. "I can do this." He said with absolute certainty. It might cost him his life, but he knew that he could. And hey, everyone had to die for something. Might as well make it something worth dying for._

 _There was silence on the other end of their connection before he heard Saria speak again. "_ _ **Well, the least we can do is make things a little bit easier for you.**_ _" Said Saria, her voice filled with pride for the little boy she had raised in the woods who had become such a brave and noble man._

 _There was a surge of holy power, and a flash of light. Link threw up his hands and shielded his eyes. When the light faded, Link lowered his hands and felt his mouth fall open. Before him, connecting the land to the castle, was a bridge made of rainbow light. It flickered and raged like fire, beautiful in the same way that a thunderstorm was beautiful._

 _Link grinned and looked to the heavens. "Thanks Saria." He said. He inhaled and took one tentative step onto the bridge of rainbow fire. He found it solid and took another step with increased confidence, another, one more, and then… he was promptly run over by a Kart driven by a certain trolling Italian Plumber._

" _Woo-hoo! Rainbow Road is-a open!" cried Mario, the godfather of video games as dozens of Karts raced behind him, all of them zooming over a very confused and in pain Hero of Time. "Let's-a go!" cried Mario as Bowser launched a Green Shell at him which narrowly missed the Italian plumber._

 _Meanwhile, up in his super evil lair, playing his evil pipe organ (of DOOM!), Ganondorf suddenly heard the sounds of chaos and screeching tires coming from his courtyard. Thoroughly confused and wondering if the Sages are pulling some sort of practical joke on him. However, upon sticking his head out the window he was met with a strange sight._

" _HEY! GET OUT OF MY CASTLE YOU DRUNKEN HIPPIES!" he roared in fury at the Kart racers below._

 _He was promptly Blue Shelled by Bowser._

* * *

"Yeah, good times." Said Peach with a smile.

"I was in the hospital for three weeks." Said Link with a cold expression. "Thanks for that by the way. My only consolation was that Ganondorf was in there for twice as long." He said with a mixture of bitterness and nostalgia.

"Hey, we-a paid for the-a bills didn't-a we?" asked Mario with an indignant expression. "And-a that's how-a we invited-a you to-a Smash Bros." said Mario with a smug look. "And-a is it-a makes you-a feel better we-a can invite Cloud to race on his-a choccobo." Said Mario with a grin.

Link's day instantly brightened as he imagined the pain Cloud would soon be put through. Mario was right. Mario Kart was FUN!


	12. A Note

Hey everyone. I know that its been a while. The truth is I've been dealing with some personal demons that I just couldn't seem to shake.

Calling it depression is fair I guess. I felt like shit about absolutely everything one-hundred percent of the time. I just couldn't even work up the will to get up really. Whenever I tried to write I just couldn't bring myself to write a single word. My grades tanked and I nearly flunked out of college. I almost did something cowardly.

But I got lucky. I had some incredibly wonderful and kind people who pulled me back from the edge. I pulled myself together and got the help I needed.

I'm sorry for not updating in so long. I'm going to make a real effort to write more often. Thank you everyone for being so patient with me. Expect updates for almost everything in the future, as well as something new I started a while ago but never got around to publishing.

Love you all,

Hedgehog of Time.


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